


Haunting of the White House

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Holidays, Humor, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-10-18
Updated: 2000-10-18
Packaged: 2019-05-15 19:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14796515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: The White House gang is invited to a spooky Halloween  party.





	Haunting of the White House

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

The haunting of the white house 

or torture, terrible torture

by: Elizabeth Bennet

rating: g (for senseless fake bloodshed)

disclaimer: no, duh, i wanna get sued. Just kidding. None of the characters belong to me, they are the property of Aaron Sorkin and NBC. I am not writing this for money.

Notes: I hope you like this one. Its just a deranged figment of my imagination, not meant to reflect reality at all. Also, sorry about the script format, but it seemed to fit. If you flame, make it gentle. Really nice reviewers will get an invitation to my haunted castle in Transyllvania. (mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!)

and now... (drum roll, please) the story!!!!!

 

Spooky Announcer Person: Welcome to Tales of the Dark and the Ghostly. Tonight, our tale takes you to a more bizarre place than ever before... The White House. (Dunh, dunh, dunh) It is haunted by generations of political mistakes, and ruled by a man who makes insanity look like fun--Josiah Bartlet. It¹s halls crawl with spider webs, grinning jack o¹ lanterns, and black cats, for Halloween is only days away, and everybody¹s assistants have gone crazy decorating. In a large office not quite shaped like an oval, a meeting is taking place, one where the ruler of the house is conferring with his trusted confidantes. (cut to oval office. Senior Staff is gathered)

Josh: I¹m just saying, C.J., it would be the perfect costume for you.

C.J.: Josh, I am not dressing up as a flagpole flying the U.S. flag for Halloween.

Josh: Just sayin¹.

Bartlet: Alright, alright. Don¹t we have some kind of disaster to avert?

Leo: Nope, we¹re pretty clear in that category, sir.

Bartlet: Darn. Well, I have another announcement. Abby and I are going to hold a little get-together for you guys. (everyone stares back blankly)

Bartlet: Okay, let¹s try this. Everyone look down at the seal in the middle of my carpet. Now, everyone look back up at me. Abby and I are going to hold a little get-together for you guys.

Everyone: Yeah, great, what fun, blah, blah, blah.

Bartlet: You¹ll be getting your invitations soon. Dismissed.

(everyone walks out of the room. Josh meets Donna in the hall and they start walking back to his office)

Donna: So, Josh, just now I found this pumpkin on my desk, with a note tied to it. The note said, (she affects a vampire accent) ŒCome to ze vite house on October Thirty-Virst at nine p.m. Be dvessed to kill in a costume of your choice.¹ What¹s that all about?

(Josh rubs his head, looking confused.)

Josh: I don¹t know. (Josh walks into his office and comes out a minute later, screaming like a girl)

Donna: Josh? Are you okay?

Josh: G-g-g-go l-l-l-look.

(Donna walks into Josh¹s office. A plastic skeleton is hanging from the ceiling, clutching a note in it¹s bony hand. Donna reads the note. It¹s identical to hers.)

Donna: Well, Josh, it looks like you¹re invited too.

Josh: (still gibbering) t-to w-wh-what?

Donna: Ze fright fest. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

(Fade to spooky announcer person)

Spooky announcer person: All through the week, people received notes by various frightful couriers. Danny Concannon, C.J. Cregg, Josh Lyman, Donna Moss, Leo McGarry, Sam Seabourn, Toby Ziegler, Mallory O¹Brian, all these people received the notes. They worked hard on costumes, and arrived on October Thirty-Virst in the height of style.

(Lawn outside the white house. People are milling around)

Toby: I feel like an idiot, but at least I¹m not dressed like Harry Potter like you, Sam.

Sam: What? Harry Potter¹s cool! But you look fine, Toby. I mean, Dumbledore¹s pretty groovy too.

Toby: (Blushes, adjusting his long white beard and half-moon glasses) Thanks.

C.J.: Danny, what are you doing here, and why are you dressed as Edward Scisorhands?

Danny: Well, everybody kept telling me I needed a haircut. You look great, C.J. You make a great flamingo.

C.J.: Thanks. (whispering) Get a load of Leo.

Leo: Mwahahahah. I vant to suck your blood.

Josh: Wow, Leo. I never pictured you as the vampire type.

Leo: Nov you knov. I like zor costum, Joth. I have never zeen a more dashing headleth Horsthman.

Josh: Thanks.

Donna: Wow, Mallory. I like you¹re costume, but who are you supposed to be?

Mallory: Hermione, from Harry Potter. I like yours too, Donna. You make a very nice Pippi Longstocking.

Donna: Why, thank you, I--

(Just then a black bus pulls up, the door opens. A mysterious man dressed as a skeleton is driving it.)

Skeleton man: ALL ABOARD FOR NIGHTMARE LAND!!!

(Everyone looks at each other, shrugs, and shuffles on)

Spooky AP: (v/o) Little did they know what they were in for.

(The bus pulls up at a very haunted--looking house. The driver opens the doors and everyone gets off. The bus pulls away, never to be seen again. A mysterious woman dressed in black silently directs them through the front door. They are guided into a large room, and then, the lights go out. (Dunh, dunh, dunh)

everyone: AAAAAHHHHH!!!

Bartlet/Abby: Happy Halloween! Surprise!

(the lights go on and reveal that the room is beautifully decorated for a party. ŒMonster Mash¹ starts playing and everyone starts to dance. Bartlet throws his arm over Abby¹s shoulder)

Bartlet: We sure had a good idea, Abby.

Abby: You¹re right. The only thing I don¹t get is why we were able to rent this place for so little.

Bartlet: I dunno.

( A young girl enters the room, dressed as a witch)

Everyone: Who are you?

Girl: I am the great, all-powerful author. And you, my friends, have unknowingly fallen into my clutches. Now I will be able to write you into my fanfic for all time!

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Author: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The End

Well?

  

  


End file.
